20 Subtle Clues She’s About to Break Up with You

Crack her pre-breakup code and read between her apathetic lines, and you won’t be so blindsided by the inevitable bad news

Women are many things, but straightforward isn’t one of them. So while you may sense that something is amiss when your girlfriend or wife displays obvious signs that she's not happy in a relationship, there are other subtle clues you can watch for before the not-so-subtle ones hit you like a ton of bricks.

We aren’t talking about her reluctance to jump into bed with you. Or her lack of feigned interest in the details of all 18 holes you just played. Or the fight picking. Or the time she unfollowed you on Twitter. We know you know those.

But these are some of the more obscure indications that The Talk may be coming soon to a relationship near you.

1. Dirty talk isn’t reciprocated

You text her to tell her she looked sexy as hell in bed this morning and that it killed you to leave for your breakfast meeting, and instead of responding that that would’ve rocked her world, she just says, “Thanks!” Thanks? She might as well have texted “Who dis?”

2. Her good news is news to you

When you become the last one on her call list with news of a raise, a promotion, a seriously heavy piece of gossip, or even a story about something adorable her dog/cat/baby did, know that you are not her No. 1 anymore.

3. That cheery disposition of hers goes cold

If she was the more sanguine of the two, and she suddenly goes Debbie Downer on everything, it might mean that your relationship has her seeing more cloud and less silver lining.

4. Suddenly, she starts doing things she hated

The girl who swore up and down that she’d rather be punched in the face before going to another pretentious book club, candle party, or dinners with girls she can’t stand is now saying yes to all of the above. With gusto. It’s like she’ll do anything to avoid you.

5. You know that argument you two have over and over?

You win. She starts going down without a fight. She no longer feels compelled to change your mind. About whatever it is, or was.

6. There are no more tears shed when you leave

In fact, it might feel like she’s glad to see you go. When you break the news to her that you have to go to New York for a few days, she doesn’t beg to go with. She might even be giving you the vibe that you should extend your stay. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out and all that.

7. She pulls away from all the parts of you

It’s not just you, it’s every extension of you. She stops picking up calls from your mom, and your sister notices that she cancels at the last minute every time the two of them have plans.

8. Your bedtimes have become suspiciously contradictory

If you’re going to turn in early, she says she feels like burning the midnight oil. But on the nights that you declare that you are going to stay up late and polish off that bottle of red, she ends up in bed with a book by 9pm.

9. You know that vast collection of private jokes that only you two get?

She no longer gets them. You might find yourself having to explain them. And then the jokes just aren’t funny anymore, and you’re just the guy with the way-too-vivid memory.

10. There is binge watching, and you aren’t invited

You two were working your way through the first three seasons of Californication, and then one night you come home from work to find out she’s already on season six. Spoiler alert: Your relationship’s about as stable as Hank and Karen’s.

(This may not be the worst thing anyway. Check out why Binge-Watching TV Is Unhealthy.)

11. The sex gets less intimate

Not every dry spell means she has one foot out the door. But if you find that your sex life is becoming more about the destination than the getting there, it should make you curious about where the love-making went.

12. The situation down there is not "situated" at all times

She never used to miss that waxing appointment every other week, but now she lets herself go. We have nothing against the natural look, but when she goes from a landing-strip kind of girl to a full-coverage girl, it’s a sign that she no longer sees the need to impress you with her bush-whacking skills.

13. Or vice versa

Conversely, if she seems hell bent on looking tip-top from head to toe, and starts waxing things you didn’t even know could be waxed, that may be another indication that she’s readying herself—body and mind—for the next chapter.

14. The best lingerie gets pushed to the back of her underwear drawer

You know that one red bra she has with the black laces straps and the tiny bow between her tits? No? Maybe you’ve forgotten it exists because all she wears now are the plain cotton nude bras that have seen better days. It makes you wonder: who is she saving the red one for?

15. She wants to meet for coffee

Damn, damn, damn. The dreaded coffee date. The ones with no drinks and no sexy time. That probably means something, and it ain’t good.

16. But when she is drinking, she is DRINKING

Is she drinking herself single with all those doubles ?

17. Whenever the two of you have plans, she always manages to bring a plus one

It could be her sister, your sister, her best friend, a co-worker, or a neighbor. That unwillingness to be alone with you sends a pretty clear message. And no, it has nothing to do with a threesome.

18. Her jealous bone is breaking

Clingy and possessive are their own kind of red flag. But a girl who used to be jealous and the suddenly isn’t anymore? That hurts. A little dose of jealousy keeps things interesting, and keeps you both on your toes. So when the smoking hot bartender is making direct eye contact with you, and your own girl doesn’t pay attention, you should be paying attention.

19. Did she just change the stereo presets in her car?

It’s like you don’t even know her anymore once her predictable listening habits—country and classic rock and nothing else—are no longer so predictable. A new direction music-wise could be a signal that other changes are on the horizon.

20. The lack of commitment is out of character for her

This is a woman who already knows that a month from next Tuesday she is meeting her Zeta Tau Alpha sisters for a reunion slash bachelorette party planning meeting, but when you ask her to pencil you in for dinner this weekend, she is reluctant and evasive. She gives you a lot of “Maybe”s and “We’ll see”s.

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Why You Need to Stop Binge-Watching TV

It's the wrong way to enjoy good TV

Just one more episode. Unless you’re a shameless TV glutton, you’ve probably felt conflicted after blasting through three or four episodes of a show in one sitting—or a whole season in one weekend. For some hardcore bingers, finishing up a season so you can move on to the next show can almost seem like a chore. You don’t really feel like another House of Cards, but True Detective is waiting in your queue, and you’ve heard Hannibaland Orange Is the New Black are worth checking out . . .

People who binge watch TV can show addict-like tendencies, explains Jeff Galak, Ph.D., who researches consumer behavior at Carnegie Mellon University. Like a smoker lighting up, you feel a sense of elation the moment you fire up that next episode, Galak says. You may also feel the addict’s self-disgust once the show is underway and you realize you’ve committed another hour of your life to the boob tube.

On the other hand, denying your TV fix can lead to the same physiological discomfort addicts experience when separated from their compulsion, Galak adds. In an Ohio State University study, withdrawal symptoms like depression, a sense of distress, and loneliness all spiked among regular TV viewers denied access to their favorite shows.

The end of a season—and the prospect of waiting months before you’re re-united with your favorite characters—can be especially distressing if you just powered through a show in a few marathon sessions, Galak warns. But for those who space out their television consumption, he says the season-ending comedown is much smoother. Why? Your brain has already acclimated to the loss of access because you’ve been taking a week off in between episodes.

You also derive more enjoyment and pleasure from a show if you space out its episodes, Galak’s research suggests. When you consume slowly, your brain has more time to think about and process what you’ve watched, and to anticipate what might happen next. (Think of all the fun you had dissecting each episode of True Detective, while at the same time trying to guess what would go down in the following week’s episode?) But when you binge-watch, your brain has no chance to contemplate, Galak says. You’re already bombarding it with the next dose of entertainment. 

You’re also more likely to become bored and over-full when you consume a show quickly, the research says. Think of it like eating a whole bag of potato chips; the chips at the bottom of the bag never taste as good as the first few because you’re not hungry for them anymore. 

Couple all this with the fact that TV is one of the worst habits for your health—each hour of viewing shortens your life by 22 minutes, research has found—and it may be time to start reeling in your evening binge-watching routine. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist and drinking some water are two simple ways to kick a bad habit, studies show. 

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5 Crazy Ways Hot Women Trick You

How a beautiful babe can speed up time, deplete your bank account, and more

Time flies when you’re babbling with babes. After talking with a woman, men estimated the conversation to be nearly 3.5 minutes briefer if she was attractive, according to a Canadian study. Guys also recalled more discussion topics if they spoke with a hottie. 

Because you’re trying to make a good impression, you focus more on both the conversation and your own words when chatting with a beautiful woman, explains study coauthor Ping Dong, a doctoral researcher at Toronto’s Rotman School of Management. And because your brain is more engaged, time tends to slip by without you noticing it, Dong adds. 

But that's not the only way hot women mess with your mind:

They scramble your memory. After lying to impress a gorgeous girl, men had a harder time separating the truth from their fiction a few weeks later. Turns out, being dishonest with a potential sexual partner actually confuses your memory about the truth, finds a recent study from Texas Christian University. And the more you lie, the more your brain starts to accept those fibs as fact, the study authors say. (Sharpen your memory with these 7 Weird Brain Tricks That Make You Smarter.) 

They make you impatient. Guys were more likely to accept crappy mortgage terms if a loan ad featured a beautiful woman. Men also opted for a smaller, short-term payout as opposed to more cash down the road after looking at sexy ladies. By stoking the reward centers of your brain, hot women cause you to discount the future and focus on immediate gratification, according to reports from McMaster University and the National Bureau of Economic Research. 

They turn you into Robin Hood. Men are more likely to act selflessly and give money to the poor when attractive women are watching, shows a study from the U.K. The prospect of sex causes men to show off their altruistic side, which women find appealing, the authors explain. (But here's a bonus: Giving back is one of the many ways you can Use Science to Be More Attractive to Women.) 

They give you a high. In a study at the University of Texas, guys experienced a drug-like buzz after viewing photos of hourglass-shaped female butts and hips. The right waist-to-hip ratio is a serious sign of reproductive potential, which sends a pleasure-packed jolt through the reward centers of a man’s brain, the researchers say.

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How Marathon Runners and Their Beautiful Neon Shoes Made Me Want to Change

A non-runner finds inspiration at the LA Marathon

Yesterday, I witnessed the entire Los Angeles Marathon. Pretty much all of it, from start to finish. Not the entire 26.2 mile stretch, but just my area of town. For me, that was quite a feat.

I watched the endless flow of moving people. I saw the top of the pack pass, and I saw the stragglers at the end. I'd like to share with you my findings.

First finding—Out of the entire L.A. Marathon, there were about 374 Steve Prefontaine look-a-likes. This includes the headband and the tube socks. None of them, however, looked like Jared Leto.

Second finding—Good news! If you’re not ready to commit to the running lifestyle, no one yells at spectators for smoking.

Third finding—Brace yourself: Neon is in!

Neon shirts. Neon socks. And especially, neon shoes.

Remember that barefoot running fad from a few years ago? Apparently, it no longer exists. This year, it’s neon—the antithesis of flesh color.

Oranges. Yellows. Pinks. Vibrant blues and greens. I hadn’t seen this much neon since Wham back in the 80’s. It’s what I imagine the Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon Festival is like, except this took place in LA, and it was from the knees down.

I knew neon shoes existed. I’ve even considered getting them, but I was afraid they’d make my feet stick out like clown shoes.

But after a full day of watching neon shoes fly by in a blur, like LSD-induced color trails, I've changed my mind.

It’s almost as if neon running shoes have a personality. They make Keds and Converse seem lobotomized by comparison.

Neon shoes have spirit. They own the ground with each stomp. Each glide. Watching them made me feel like I was at a rave, a little too stoned, and I wanted to get the hell out of there. I became overwhelmed with the amount of people, and the amount of neon. Yes, there were all ages. All colors. All walks of life. Some on wheels. Some walking. But they were all going down Sunset Boulevard like wild, colorful buffalo. A human rapid.

I lit a cigarette and waited for the flow to die down. Then I made my way along the route towards home.

I liked the stragglers. They gave me hope. I went from saying, "I would never do a marathon" to "Maybe I can quit smoking and try it next year."

As I ruminated, neon passed in my periphery.

I thought about the shoes and why they've caught on. Perhaps people like them because they're fun to put on in the morning. Like, five in the morning, that ungodly hour when people train for marathons. (Isn't that when they get up? I think that's what I heard.)

Maybe they put on those shoes, and they light up, like you do when you see a new puppy or a child… but it's shoes.

Who knows, maybe those shoes could kick the cigarettes right out of my fingers, and push me to start exercising. Or do other things, too. Like date. And get a career.

I watched the last of the stragglers around the mile ten marker.

“You’re halfway there!” I shouted. They looked at me, confused.

I have always been terrible at math.

I saw a bigger man struggling. He was barely holding it together. He seemed concerned about his prospects of finishing.

“You’re going to make it," I yelled at him. "You’re almost there!”

He gave the thumbs up, then wiped the sweat off his brow.

Next year, no doubt, he will have neon shoes. Even if it’s just the sole, or the stripe, or the swoosh, or the whoosh, his feet will be a little bolder. He'll be further ahead in the herd of neon shoes, and he'll have earned it.

And maybe I've earned it too, this decision to change. Take a risk. Maybe next year, I’ll be running with a hot pink tongue and lemon yellow soles. Or maybe I’ll be the walker with lime green stripes and bright orange laces. Maybe I can be that flash of light my neighbors see every morning... like streamers calling forth a new day.

I know, I know, I'm getting ahead of myself. First, I need to learn how to run around the block without passing out. But something about what I witnessed on the streets of Los Angeles—all those hopeful people in neon shoes, like a sea of poppies making their towards the ocean—tells me that maybe I can.

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Barefoot Running Stumbles

The irresistible promise: Ditch your padded sneakers and run faster with fewer injuries. So why is the minimalist running craze causing maximum pain

The 2011 L.A. Marathon was going well for Joseph Gabriel. After 26 miles enduring a cold rain and gusty winds, he was still on pace to break four hours—his goal after four months of training. But as he turned onto Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica, with the finish line in sight 300 yards away, he felt a sudden tug above his left ankle.

"It wasn't painful; it was more like a pulling sensation. I thought it was a muscle," Gabriel recalls". I had no idea what had happened and didn't want to make it worse." So he stopped—and the crowd went nuts. "Everyone was yelling my name—it was printed on my race bib. They shouted, 'It's right there, keep going!' And I'm like, But I can't walk!" So Gabriel hopped the final stretch on his good leg. Time: 4:02:44.

Gabriel had ruptured his Achilles tendon. It took three months of rest and rehab before he could run again, gingerly. His physical therapist, Darwin Fogt, M.P.T., wasn't surprised by the injury—and not because his patient was 50 years old. To Fogt, Joseph Gabriel was yet another victim of the so-called barefoot running craze.

Gabriel didn't run (and finally hop) the L.A. Marathon barefoot; he trained and raced in a pair of minimalist running shoes—the kind with a nearly level heel, or "lower drop" in athletic-shoe parlance. He was one of legions of runners who'd read the bestselling book Born to Run, about Mexico's Tarahumara, an indigenous tribe whose members compete in races of 100 miles or more in flat sandals—and almost never get hurt.

In the book, author Christopher McDougall blames spongy shock-absorbing shoes for breeding runners with poor form and weak feet. McDougall, who also wrote about the Tarahumara for Men's Health in 2006, visited Harvard University, where he met Daniel Lieberman, Ph.D., an evolutionary biologist who studied gait mechanics. Lieberman showed that when barefoot runners land forefoot first—in front of the arch—their gait is measurably less jarring than shod runners who hit the ground with their heels. In January 2010, with the popularity of Born to Run soaring, the journal Natureput Lieberman's research on its cover.

"Lieberman's publication, McDougall's book—it was a perfect combination of events," says Matthew Silvis, M.D., a sports medicine physician at Penn State who teaches barefoot technique. Shoemakers rushed to meet the new demand, introducing lighter, flatter shoes with names like Bare Access and Minimus. Glovelike footwear called FiveFingers or Skeletoes became popular. "Barefoot running" became shorthand for the minimalist movement.

But now Dr. Silvis, who is studying injury rates among barefooters, says he is seeing an alarming number of foot stress fractures, calf tears, and Achilles strains in runners transitioning to barefoot or minimalist running. Fogt, president of Evolution Physical Therapy in Culver City, California, concurs. He says he finds plantar fasciitis in the majority of his barefoot runners, compared with perhaps 15 percent of traditional runners.

Fogt's client, Gabriel, admits that he bought into the craze. "I drank the Kool-Aid," he says. "I just thought I should do it because of what I had heard, even though I was having no problems with what I was using at the time." The promise of a more efficient stride was irresistible: "I got the new minimalist shoes, threw out my old ones, and out the door I went."

LIGHTWEIGHT SHOES CAN MAKE A RUNNER feel faster; and with no initial pain, a new convert to minimalist running is tempted to log miles as he always has. For Gabriel, months of high-mileage training without proper conditioning added strain to his hamstrings, calves. . .and Achilles tendons. It's not just older guys who are at risk; Fogt sees people of all ages with injuries related to barefoot-style running. Dr. Silvis is currently treating a 20-year-old elite distance runner with a history of stress fractures who tried a barefoot approach in an attempt to ease the shock to his tibia bones. But, says Dr. Silvis, he "straightaway ran at his normal distance and intensity, and subsequently fought Achilles difficulties for weeks."

That's typical, says Nathan Koch, P.T., a physical therapist based in Scottsdale, Arizona. "Runners are always trying to get faster, looking for an edge," he says. "They're also always hurt. And when they're hurt, they want answers. So people made assumptions that if you could run barefoot, your injuries would go away."

In May, researchers at the University of Wisconsin at La Crosse published a study demonstrating that a forefoot or midfoot landing—the usual technique in lighter shoes with a less cushioned heel—increases the load per step on the Achilles tendon by 11 percent compared with a heel landing. That's about 7,000 extra pounds of force over a mile for a 150-pound runner, says study author John Willson, Ph.D., now an associate professor of physical therapy at East Carolina University. That kind of force, says Fogt, is the reason anyone who's making the switch from conventional shoes to minimalist footwear needs an extensive training period to ready the foot for barefoot style. "And not everyone's foot is able to tolerate barefoot running, even with the training period," he says.

Neither McDougall nor Lieberman asserted that barefoot running had any proven benefit over shod running. Lieberman merely demonstrated that forefoot strikers are, quite literally, lighter on their feet. He also observed from habitually barefoot cultures—he visited the Kalenjin tribe in Kenya—that human anatomy is innately suited for running.

The problem? "People took our paper, which was about a very small, limited topic, as telling them how to run," Lieberman says. "Running is a complex skill that you can't learn how to do just by taking off your shoes."

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Oral Sex: Should You Always Return the Favor?

If a woman 

goes down on me, am I always expected to return the favor?
MIKE, DETROIT, MI

No, not always. We've seen that glaze in your eyes, and we know what it means: You're seconds away from a post-orgasm snooze. Just don't leave her hanging all the time, okay?

And if you're not into oral, don't expect her to give it either. Find other ways to satisfy her. Once she's moaning, she probably won't care if it's because of your tongue or your fingertips.

(If you need some pointers, here are 5 Oral Sex Moves You've Never Tried.)

Should I tell my partner there's an old nude selfie of me online? I'm worried she'll find it.

DANNY, CHARLESTON, SC

Lately, lots of people have learned the hard way that megapixels don't always stay private.

If secrets bother you, then sure, fess up. Her reaction (empathy? laughter? disgust?) could say a lot about your compatibility as a couple. Otherwise, you'll just have to hope this secret stays between you and Tumblr.

It probably will, but have your story ready just in case.

(May we suggest keeping your pants on and just taking shirtless selfies instead?)

I need to relocate a few hours away for a new job. How do I break it to her?
JUSTIN, MIAMI, FL

First, decide if your eagerness to move several zip codes away says anything about how into her you really are. If you're still feeling it, be direct and have a plan ready in case she freaks.

For instance, agree to take turns visiting each other at least twice a month, and be patient. Hint at plenty of FaceTime fun. And to really show commitment, use your raise to buy her an iPad, fill it with Friday Night Lights episodes, and clip it to an intercity bus pass.

My girlfriend keeps saying she wants a puppy. Should I buy her one?
JOE, BUFFALO, NY

Points for listening, but let's be clear: A puppy isn't a gift. It's a commitment. Just because she oohs every time she sees a shih tzu on the street doesn't mean she's ready to pick up puppy poop twice a day.

Like men, women want to bond with their pets; that's a deeply emotional experience. And remember: If things don't work out, she's stuck with a barking, shedding reminder of what went wrong.

So don't spring the pup on her. Wait until she's ready to adopt—yes, adopt!—and be there, pooper-scooper in hand, when the right pooch picks her.

I want girls to notice me at bars—but I don't want to look like a douchebag. Any tips?
RAY, SAN DIEGO, CA

It comes down to this: No matter what you're wearing, saying, or doing, don't try too hard. Women want a guy who's comfortable with himself. It's why all those pickup artists are destined to fail.

Beyond that? Listen when she talks, and ask questions to show you're paying attention. And don't underestimate the power of a good story.

A guy once picked me up in a bar by telling me about the time he fell off his bike as a kid—yeah, it was really random. Women generally hate pickup lines (unless it's one of these 7 Cheesy Pickup Lines That Actually Work) but most will stick around for a great story.

Follow Ali on google plus at sexual tips, and on Twitter at @sexualtips2.

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Are Your Tattoos Costing You a Job?

According to hiring managers, your ink could cause more harm than you think: Tattoos may reduce your chances of landing a job, finds new research from the University of St. Andrews.

In the study, managers reported negative perceptions toward tattooed applicants. Some said that tattoos are the first thing hiring managers talk about when you leave; others admitted that if there were two equal applicants, they’d probably choose the one without a tat.

How come? In this study in particular, managers worked for hotels, banks, and universities—organizations with customers who may still view tattoos in a negative light.

But “it all depends on the type of customer,” says study author Andrew Timming, Ph.D. In fact, some companies proactively recruit employees with tattoos, Timming says. Nearly 40 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds in the U.S. are inked up, and “when these people age, the stigma attached to tattoos will diminish," he says.

If you’re thinking about getting body art—and concerned about how it could impact a future gig—pick skin that’s not visible under clothes (your chest, shoulder, or back). And if your tattoo’s out in the open, consider the content.

No matter the industry, tattoos with racist innuendo or those that depict images of violence or drugs are likely to provoke a more negative response, Timming adds.

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